i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
