i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
