Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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