there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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