my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
