Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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