Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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