I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
