epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
