Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
