grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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