you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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