So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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