Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.

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  (703): How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time. http://tfl.nu/qie0
  Replies (2) Good night (1562) Bad night (598)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.

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  (778): Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them. http://tfl.nu/fuhs
  Replies (15) Good night (4850) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.

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  (484): We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision. http://tfl.nu/lzhl
  Replies (18) Good night (1304) Bad night (3824)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".

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  (317): sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru". http://tfl.nu/gnr7
  Replies (26) Good night (1343) Bad night (6152)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how was last night?

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.

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  (908): how was last night? (1-908): i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me. http://tfl.nu/23nl
  Replies (32) Good night (6491) Bad night (3224)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate

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  (919): Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate http://tfl.nu/0wu1
  Replies (3) Good night (4914) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.

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  (217): I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong. http://tfl.nu/7bl9
  Replies (7) Good night (1182) Bad night (2719)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.

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  (770): Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this. http://tfl.nu/gsh2
  Replies (3) Good night (1675) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.

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  (918): like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness. http://tfl.nu/c3xi
  Replies (7) Good night (1478) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He's cheating on her.

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Are you sure it wasn't her?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.

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  (201): He's cheating on her. (973): Are you sure it wasn't her? (201): I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her. http://tfl.nu/sbt9
  Replies (6) Good night (1242) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.

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  (978): I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once. http://tfl.nu/s0yn
  Replies (5) Good night (1463) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight

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  (816): the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight http://tfl.nu/st8j
  Replies (3) Good night (1816) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions

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  (513): He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions http://tfl.nu/8lj3
  Replies (1) Good night (647) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.

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  (773): The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group. http://tfl.nu/wtka
  Replies (2) Good night (928) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit

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  (856): Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit http://tfl.nu/iumy
  Replies (0) Good night (716) Bad night (340)

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