I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.