i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
