Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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