so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
