they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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