? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
