I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
