we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
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I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
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Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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