Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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