So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
