she was so not down for the gang bang
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
