smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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