ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
