I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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