I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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