Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
