life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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