am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
