u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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