i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
