dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
