You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
