respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
is it fun? or sober?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
