no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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