So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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