And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
