Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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