yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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