Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
