Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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