When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
