this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
