it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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