Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
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Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
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No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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