i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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