lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Verdict: uncircumcised.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
