Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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