Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
