I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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