; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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