Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
birth control should be required to get into college
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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