my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
