He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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