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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize