Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
