you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize