the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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