Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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