I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
