He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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