Christians are straight up FREAKS
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Randomize
