Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
