Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
