and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
